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Cheeky Preview From Laughing at Myself

Just because, here's another little cheeky preview of a first draft from my second book Laughing at Myself

On the day I booked in my regular hairdresser was away, but I wasn’t worried, these ladies were all professionals, I sat in the chair, took off my spectacles, and settled into a very soft focus world. Three hours later I put my glasses back on to find I had the tightest perm that anyone has ever had, reducing my hair to about a half an inch fuzz all over my head, it was also dried out and crunchy to the touch, two qualities that hair should never really have.

It couldn’t have looked more ridiculous if I were wearing a joke wig, in shock I paid, stumbled home and was greeted with my mum’s tactful “what the f**k have you done to your hair?”. This surprisingly did not help me to feel better about my hair monstrosity, and I phoned the shop to complain.

“It just needs a deep condition”, said the lady who wasn’t my hairdresser, “perms can be ‘a bit drying”. She suggested a wax conditioner, (which I attempted to buy in several shops without success, deciding it must be the hairdressers equivalent of tartan paint). I suggested coming in to see the manager. The next day I went into the manager who said she thought it looked really ‘nice’ funny then that she didn’t have the same hairstyle herself then wasn’t it.

They didn’t offer to do anything, even when after explaining I had asked the ladies to do a light body perm, and they had told the trainee which rollers to use (the smallest rollers invented, the sort that would make pencil look on the flabby side).

At the point when I was almost immune to people’s sideways looks of horror at work, in shops, cafes, and on the bus frizz ease was invented, and although it took two hours to apply and blow dry straight, it turned my hair from crunchy poodle, to Lego helmet hair. Which at least gave me another option.

Let me know what you think of this story from Laughing at Myself

Available in paperback, ebook and audio

Sneak peak from Laughing at Myself

Here's a sneak peek of Cataracts Toilet from my second Laughing at Myself, which is (I promise) on it's way...

Being the fabulous daughter that I obviously am, what else would I do when mum needed to get to a check-up before her cataracts operation but offer to drive her to the hospital?

she was having her first check up with a specialist to see whether her cataracts were ‘ripe enough’ to operate on (I think this expression is gross, but it is the real one, so there we go).

We arrived with plenty of time to spare before the appointment so that she had time to ‘settle in’, which translates into had time to take her coat off, pop to the toilet and then chat in the waiting room for a bit. The chatting part is very important, although her husband is still around, she tells me that after 46 years you really are in need of some fresh conversation.

If you want to hear the rest of the story I'll be reading it for you very soon :-)

Laughing at Myself is available in paperback, ebook or audio

Read a book, review, and share

It's that sort of world now, people want to know what something is like, whether you enjoyed it, and what your opinion is for everything. And books are no different, this is especially true when people are considering trying out a new author.

What if you didn't like a book? well that's fine, you cannot like everything. Leave a review anyway, and just make sure that any criticisms you make are constructive; after all this is someone's livelihood. Who knows if you are making a good point it could be really helpful for them in their future books.

When you buy a book online you'll often get that email prompt saying hey what did you think of that book you bought? how many stars will you give it? what about books that you buy elsewhere? I have made a lovely list for you below, of all the places readers hangout online, so you'll be able to leave your opinion all over the show!

So, how important is it that you review books after you read or listen to them? it's no exaggeration to say it's vital.

Not only does it help fellow readers find new work, and new authors that they might enjoy; but it also helps writers reach new readers who may want to borrow their books from libraries or to buy them.

That in turn encourages people to use libraries and independent book shops.

See? the five minutes it takes you to compose and post your review could help an author, a small business, and your community - wow that's a powerful few minutes - so get reviewing!

If you would like to hear more from me, and get a free copy of Funny Bird, then become one of my Very Important Reader Gang here

Antidote to loneliness

Blue Zones article that inspired me

I know a lady who has an agreement with three other child free couples, that when they reach sixty they will sell their house and buy one large house, where they can all live and take care of each other as they age. What a great idea, from age thirty five this is something I started to think about, the desire to age in a community of like minded people, who have similar cultural references and won't look at me strangely when I mention my Blue Peter badge, or when a Cornetto was 50p.

The study also showed the 1 in 3 over 45's are lonely. That's a horrible statistic, and with everyone being 'so busy' we are forgetting to make real contact. What can we do about it? Go through your phone book and get yourself visiting. And read about the good the bad and the downright terrible friendships we have throughout our lifetimes.

Read about Friends Like These

Eden Gruger Around The World

I wanted to say a massive thank you to all my lovely followers, everyone who takes the time to follow my blog, on Facebook, and Twitter, and of course, read my books! You guys have been fantastic! and have helped me to reach readers in 72 different countries.

The feeling I have this morning seeing where my lovely readers have come from is wonderful. And if you are one of my lovely readers - Thank you again, your support means that I can keep doing what I love.

Are you on my reading list?

United Kingdom, United States, Ireland, India, China, Australia, Canada, Philippines, France, Nigeria, Mexico, Hong Kong SAR China, Austria, Netherlands, Trinidad & Tobago, Cape Verde, Costa Rica, Pakistan, European Union, Spain, Gambia, Portugal, Switzerland, New Zealand, Saudi Arabia, Sweden, South Africa, Finland, Japan, Bangladesh, Azerbaijan, Germany, Brazil, Greece, Chile, Israel, Hungary, Cambodia, Ghana, Guadeloupe, Russia, Slovenia, Argentina, Taiwan, Guernsey, Laos, Mauritius, Tunisia, French Polynesia, Armenia, Mongolia, Denmark, St Lucia, Moldova, Serbia, Afghanistan, Peru, Norway, Kazakhstan, UAE, El Salvador, Uruguay, Singapore, Northern Mariana Islands, Kenya, Cayman Islands, Belgium, Romania, Belarus, Slovakia.

Check out my books!

Essex Libraries Donation

Eden Gruger local author has donated 50 copies of her first book ‘Down With Frogs’ to Essex library services

Eden Gruger said "the library service has been a vital part of my life, since learning to read aged four, the library has been a land of wonder, peace and connection for me. Libraries offer a vital community service; central government talks about breaking down loneliness barriers, building communities and supporting good mental health, then local government shuts libraries”.

Copies are in the following libraries, and you can of course reserve a copy by going online or asking in your local branch.

• Basildon Library • Billericay Library • Braintree Library • Brentwood Library • Brightlingsea Library • Broomfield Library • Burnham-on-Crouch Library

• Chelmsford Library • Chigwell Library • Chipping Ongar Library • Clacton Library
• Colchester Library

• Dunmow Library • Earls Colne Library • Epping Library • Frinton Library • Fryerns Library • Galleywood Library • Great Tarpots Library

• Hadleigh Library • Halstead Library • Harlow Library • Harwich Library
• Hockley Library • Holland Library • Hullbridge Library

• Laindon Library • Loughton Library • Maldon Library • Manningtree Library

• Old Harlow Library • Pitsea Library • Prettygate Library • Rayleigh Library • Rochford Library

• Saffron Walden Library • Shenfield Library • South Benfleet Library
• South Woodham Ferrers Library • Springfield Library • Stansted Library
• Stock Library • Thaxted Library • Tye Green Library • Vange Library

• West Clacton Library • West Mersea Library • Wickford Library
• Witham Library • Writtle Library

If you would like support and motivation to fulfil your writing dreams click here

If you would like to hear more Eden news then why not become one of my Very Important Reader Gang and get a free copy of Funny Bird here

Cheesecake Maker, The Best Job Ever?

“Have you ever wondered what is the best job title in the world? (besides body oil application assistant to Tom Hardy)

Well I saw a badge a couple of weeks ago, that surely must be the one, and was blown away – no careers advice service ever told me this was an option.

Did you know that you could be a ‘Cheesecake Creator’ – me either, until I met Chetal Patel from Sopwell Pantry. Best job in the world, Chetal Patel your new best friend

Not only does this lucky woman get to make and test her own wares, she also creates her own flavour combinations for us to enjoy, inspired by her travels around the world.

Hmm Chetal is it wrong that we all want to be your best friend?

Say Hello to Chetal

Chetal's mini cheescakes ideal for parties and events

If you would like to hear more from me, and get a free copy of Funny Bird, then become one of my Very Important Reader Gang here

Day In The Life Of A Writer

If you are going to have a photoshoot it may just as well be as much fun as you can make it. And I decided that the theme for this one was The Glamourous Life Of The Writer.

After finding a suitable dress in my local charity shop (no, there was no point buying new I don't wear ball gowns in normal life), I was made into a much more gorgeous version of myself by Sophie Matthews. Who managed to install confidence in me, as well as new lashes!

Amanda Hall created some incredibly fin images for me to share, and I think you will agree - on this day at least being a writer really was glamourous.

Makeup by Sophie Matthews
Photo by Amanda Hall
Dress by Cancer Research

Amanda Hall Photography

Sophie Matthews of Essex Makeup

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Flourishing And Wellness

Another day another inspirational woman crosses my path, am I extra lucky? Maybe, maybe not, may I just got over being intimidated by strong women. Running towards them so I can listen to their wisdom instead. I was really fortunate to hear a presentation given by Marie of Flourish Fit and Well recently about blue zones (the areas in the world where people achieve the most longevity, and how they might be achieving this). Never having heard about this before my mind was spinning with the ideas that Marie shared, do you know about your healthspan – the years you will have your health, versus lifespan – how long you are likely to live? It seemed to create a more accurate picture of how you can expect your wellbeing to pan out, by showing how your current lifestyle will contribute to how long you will have to live with ill health or manage health conditions in later life.

This is something I will be looking into and working on a lot more over the next few months, and when I do work out my HS v LS figures don’t worry, I will be sharing them, no matter how scary they might be…One of the things that Marie was quick to point out, is that all changes for the better are worthwhile, and her hand out ‘a week of health habits’ has got my ball well and truly rolling. 7 hours of sleep I can do, I have more issues waking up than I do dropping off, having the dubious accolade in my family of being ‘most likely to sleep through a war’. A minute of movement is easy to achieve with two dogs, so I am ok on that one, and my allotment means my half a plate of plants is an easy one, but healthy fats and perfect proteins I am not even sure what they are. If two minutes of mindfulness means being quiet and being rather than doing, then nope; and the only water I drink first thing in the morning is that which dilutes my coffee. Fortunately, when your bad habits are as bad as mine then the only way is up!

If you want to hear more from me then why not become one of my Very Important Reader Gang? I want in!

It’s the future

Hey all, as you probably know by now I am working hard on my next book 'Laughing at Myself' which hopefully will come out later this year or in January 2020. That feels utterly bizarre, 2020 is a futuristic time and now it's nearly here, must be a sign of getting old. Anyway, so L-A-M is coming along well now, half the stories are ready for the editor (sorry Steph) and the other half is in final draft, just need a bit of tweaking for me to be happy enough with them.

This time last year I was rushing around like a lunatic the editor was on the phone for hours, the cover I wanted wasn't available, and it dawned on me that I had been so busy writing that I hadn't done enough marketing to let anyone know that Down With Frogs existed. It was a baptism of fire, but what a lot of lessons learnt, and a lovely spreadsheet (yum spreadsheet...) that told me what to do when was born. This time I have taken the lessons and worked more 50/50 on marketing and writing, and I haven't even looked at my beautiful chart, so I am guessing that by the next book (title currently unknown) I will be organised enough to use the chart and not have to think so much about having to do certain things by certain times, as the spreadsheet will run my life.

What an amazing life this is, I write stuff down that comes into my head and you read it. #dreamcometrue, apparently hash tags have had their day - hey nothing wrong with being 5 to 10 years behind the times....

Laughing at Myself available in paperback, ebook and audio

Ever Wondered About A Fish’s Diet?

Fish like curry, cheese, garlic, chilli and spicy food - apparently this is a fact. How do I know this? because there is a fisherman in the family. Why do fish like curry, cheese, garlic, chilli and spicy food? no-one I have spoken to really knows, and how did the first person find this out? Did they have a bag of food with them that fell into the water, and then they noticed a feeding frenzy? I highly doubt it.

A trawl through a certain search engine brought up nothing, that's right you heard me NOTHING. How weird is that? If you have any answers or theories please do let me know, this is one of those things that will play on my mind until I know the answer.

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First aid, Frisbees & Festivals

Here is another sneaky peek at one of the stories from Laughing at Myself, my second book.

Picture it, a hot summers day at a festival, dancing, flirty, laughing in a clearing in the crowd, when I got hit in the head by a frisbee travelling at full speed. Everything stopped, it took a full minute for me to realise that my head hurt, a lot.

Being overly conscious of not wanting to look like a total idiot, I decided to style it out by appearing not to notice what had happened. This involved standing straight up staring blankly into the crowd (I may need to work more on being casual cool), whilst people close enough to see what had happened gathered around me to check that I was ok. Until the crowd dispersed, I kept saying with a laugh, wasn’t that hilarious?

After they have gone, I admit to my friends that my head really does hurt a lot, and not in a fun way, and that I am pretty sure that I have concussion. In a strange twist we were all sober enough to know that we wouldn’t be able to go to the hospital as we were all over the drink drive limit, but were all too inebriated to consider the first aid tent.

Let me know what you think -

And to see the finished book in paperback, ebook and audio click here

If you would like to hear more from me then become one of my Very Important Reader Gang, and get a free copy of Funny Bird

Doner Kebab And It’s Posh(er) Cousin

Another day, another Doner, my confession to you is that I live in London, and I have never actually tried a doner kebab, never even been tempted not when drunk or when insanely hungry. There may even be people reading this who have never even seen one. Let me explain, imagine how you would draw a leg of lamb for a medieval banquet - bear with me, and then imagine it upside down, and that it is all light brown and wet look shiny. Finally imagine it rotating, slowly. This is a Doner kebab. It is a marriage of meat scraps welded together with fat, doesn't that sound appetising? Husband said that his friend used to treat himself to one after a hard weeks work, I asked which of his friends this was? 'Oh you don't know him' he said, 'he died of a heart attack'.

Why am I explaining this to you? because today I am having the wealthy cousin of the aforementioned Doner - the Chicken Shish, chunks of chicken breast, peppers, mushrooms and onions on skewers and grilled over a barbeque grill. So I am able to tell myself that grilled meat, and vegetables, especially when served with salad is a healthy option.

This is very much like life as a whole, in any situation you can make whatever choices you wish, but remember that the treat you believe that you deserve for your efforts can be what ends up killing your spirit (if not your body). Maybe the real treat is looking after yourself, being your own carer and cheerleader - at - all - times - people - at - all - times.

Take you of yourselves

Oh and to read more from the inside of my funny, quirky, occasionally weird brain try my free eBook Funny Bird

Deafness and accents From Funny Bird

This is a first, first mini draft of a story from Funny Bird, enjoy!

Auntie Elda is a lovely person, I think, I say that I think because although I have known her my whole life, I haven’t actually been able to understand anything she has ever said. She has a beautiful, musical Southern Irish accent, it sounds gorgeous, but is absolutely impenetrable thanks to my dodgy hearing.

I think she must think I am quite ‘special’ too, given that I always just nod and agree with everything she has ever said to me, I imagine her going home and saying to my Uncle ahh poor Laura such a shame.

The one upside to this, is that Auntie Elda has always called me by my sister's name, so at least she thinks it is Laura who is the idiot.

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My Favourite Authors

Having been asked about five times this week which authors are on my reading list, it became clear that it is almost impossible to choose! although my core reading is David Sedaris, Jodi Picoult, and Bill Bryson. I often get into a phase of reading everything from one author, and then moving on. I have had a Ruth Rendell phase this year, and am twenty three books in to that...

To show just how indiscriminate a reader I am, these are the books I have read this year so far.

The boy in the striped pyjamas - John Boyne
Deception Point - Dan Brown
Woman Who Walked into Doors - Roddy Doyle
Paula Spencer - Roddy Doyle
The anniversary - Veronica Henry
Wrong time wrong place - Simon Kernick
Partners in crime - Agatha Christie
Lullaby - Leila Slimani
The Double Clue - Agatha Christie
Corpse Tale - Kathryn John
Follow me - Sheila O'Flanaghan
Clean break - Tammy Cohen
Cut off - Mark Billingham
The Help - Kathryn Stockett
The Secret - Rhonda Byrne
Last seen alive - Claire Douglas
Our House - Louise Candlish
Other Boleyn Girl - Hilary Mantel

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funny author