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Inspirational women

Inspired by…Gina Mann

There was a lady with the broadest smile who popped up on my social media feed from time to time, her posts always made me smile, either because they were funny, or because they were really touching. One day her post shared a more personal side to her story, I was honoured to be part of her audience, and knew she was the kind of person I needed in my tribe. Now it’s your turn to be honoured, as I tell you about the funny, the candid, the ever so strong - Gina Mann.

“I am so passionate about sharing my story because I truly believe that we are NEVER too old, and it is NEVER too late to step into the best version of yourself and be authentically you. That was what I was after.

Fat, frumpy, drinking way too much, with low self-esteem, and no confidence, I was depressed and generally feeling unloved and invisible. I can pinpoint the thing that inspired me to make big changes in my life, acknowledging, accepting and then taking action to deal with the thirty-eight-year drinking habit I had accumulated.

That was the hardest, and best thing I have ever done in my life, with professional help I managed to do it, despite me feeling like I was never going to be sober. But I am proud, so proud to say that I am now over eight years sober”.

Now for most people that would be wonderful and inspiring enough, but this is Gina, so get ready because there is more to come…

“Tackling that, which was very hard, meant I was then open to new opportunities and the Universe (as it always does if we are open to receive), gave me the keys to a golden future by showing me to Forever Living. I was looking for something I could do from home that was both ethical and environmentally friendly, I wanted financial freedom, but was fed up with bosses, especially male ones.

Joining them meant that I had the tools to tackle the weight problem I as a typical yo-yo dieter I had struggled with all my life. But I managed to step off that merry go round too, and have been at my ideal weight and size for five years now. This is something that I had never achieved before”.

So, here we now have a sober, slimmer Gina (and believe me she is almost unrecognisable, I have seen the photos!). But again, she was ready to push forward.

“I have always said how much the business has affected my personal development. One of the things I struggled with when I first started the business was my lack of confidence about driving. I was ok to go from home to the shops, or to work and back, what I call the golden triangle, but ask me to step outside of my comfort zone and I was terrified.

Until that I had to go to my first ever company event at our head office in Warwick, I was so excited! I got on the motorway, feeling very smug and proud, only to realise, eventually, I was going completely the wrong way! And that I was on my way to Bristol, not Warwick! It was quite a long journey to be able to get on the right track but I made it in the end”.

With her wealth of experience of triumphing over serious adversity I asked Gina to share a pearl of wisdom with me, and it’s a great one. Something that we all need reminding of “If you want change in your life of any sort, then YOU have to make the decision to change.  Change is within our hands, it is up to us to grasp opportunities and take steps and action to get us to where we want to go and step into who we want to become.  Stepping out of your comfort zone is the way to live!”

www.ginag_mann@yahoo.com

Gina on TikTok

Gina on Facebook

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Inspired By… Jackie Grant

The way this person came into my life proves to me that you never know the effect that you are having on something else, without even speaking to them! Our non-meeting happened at a business thing, I missed out on speaking to her when I had to leave before the lunch and mingling started. However, the person’s infectious laugh meant that she stuck in my mind, and when I was thinking about upgrading my non-existent fitness regime, she was the first person who came to mind.

Anyone who knows me will be well aware of the herculean task that Jackie took on when she agreed to train me for four months. I am not good at exercising if there isn’t anyone pushing me, so although the sessions went well, and there were definite improvements, between times I mainly sat on my butt and ate nonsense. Luckily, Jackie didn’t hold that against me, and as we got to know each other I got to see just what a ball of energy she is. This month I am sharing the inspirational Jackie Grant chair of the Waltham Forest Women’s Network, and owner of We Grant Fitness & Health. Enjoy.

Part of the reason I enjoyed working with Jackie so much was her understanding of stress and anxiety, and how this can hold back your fitness and wellness goals. This kind of genuine understanding often comes from someone’s struggles, and Jackie explained that stress and anxiety had been a major factor in leaving her previous role in Senior Management with the Drug and alcohol service. For me when someone you admire who seems to have everything under control shares their own struggles I get a boost, if it can happen to them I can feel better about myself. It reminds me that you never know what someone else is going through until you really connect, and that there is bound to be someone out there thinking that you are the person who has it all together.

It was later when doing a Menopause and fitness first aid training course that Jackie realised that these issues and her plummeting confidence around that time was related to the perimenopause. And a passion for connecting women, who were going through similar issues through their menopause journey was born. Jackie didn’t want other women to feel alone and knew that getting their questions answered about the transition of menopause, and that great information about nutrition, mindset and movement throughout menopause would make a massive difference.

This connecting of women started not long after, while at a local women’s meeting (E4 Women in Business) members were encouraged to write their goals for the coming year, and when Jackie read hers aloud - to bring a Menopause Café to the local area, a local reflexologist, Ginette White, had the same idea so they joined forces to get the project started.

During lockdown the café had to go on hold, but as things re-opened Jackie was approached by the Chair of Waltham Forest Women’s Network, a community-based organisation started in 2005, by a group of local women passionate about empowering local women through bringing them together.

They wanted to know when Jackie planned to restart the Menopause café. She told them that she was looking for a host and would then be able to restart it. WFWN loved the idea so much, and it fitted perfectly  with their vision to empower and connect women to each other to support them to lead healthy and happy lives, that they asked Jackie to become a committee member, and the café was relaunched as a collaboration.

In 2022 Waltham Forest Women’s Network won the Waltham Forest for All award at the Pride of Waltham Forest Awards. It was such an honour as these awards acknowledge and thank the people in the community who go above and beyond, whether they're the quiet heroes or the stars of their local neighbourhood. And the award, which is open to all groups whose projects or activities have worked across multiple faith or community groups to bring these groups closer together recognises outstanding community work by an organisation or group.

Since that initial collaboration Jackie has become the Chair of WFWN, and as always she has big plans for the future, which include continuing to connect women within the borough through different activities. Continuing with her Menopause & Women’s health café, and expanding out to look at different women’s health issues that need further support. She is also building a new project which includes both nutrition, mindset, menopause, movement on a membership site so that she can reach women worldwide to make sure they have access to the information they need about this important part of their lives.

Now you understand exactly why I wanted to tell you about Jackie, her drive and determination to make all women’s lives better makes her a truly inspirational person.

Find out more about her and her work here:

https://www.wegrantfitnessandhealth.co.uk

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jackiegrant_e17

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JGPTrainer

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wegranthealthandfitness/

 

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Inspired By…Sarah Lovatt-Ellis

I think this women is incredible, and you will too. This is all about how I have been inspired by… Sarah Ellis artistic director of Theatre Inspiring Change.

First seeing Sarah at a ladies lunch I was instantly drawn to her energy, passion and honesty. Looking like a million dollars and then some, she owned the room without being over the top, not an easy thing to pull off. So, of course I instantly wanted to be abit like her, truthfully it was intimidating to approach her before we all headed home, but there was nothing to worry about, she was absolutely lovely and joy of joys happy to stay in touch.

Since then I have learnt about her incredible interactive theatre company, which was formed out of a desire to address inequality in society. Their message being a fearless one of making theatre to challenge hate and prejudice, combat discrimination and create equality and inclusion, things I definitely agree with and support.

Their plays tackle the big topics in society: Her plays tackle homophobia, racism, domestic abuse, county lines, racism, consent, sexual health, bullying and healthy relationships. Things that were not talked at all when I was a young person, that are very much part of the conversation now, but that we all still need more education around. Helping people to understand the big issues so they can support and empathise with others is how the world changes for the better.

Many people would agree with this, not many people would be prepared to stand up and make this their lives mission. So how did this happen? Sarah explained that she had always wanted to be an actor and got into top drama school Rose Bruford, which specialised in using theatre to make change.

However, at the age of eighteen she was also in a physically, and mentally abusive relationships with a man, who, when she finally found the strength to leave him, raped her. “I had so many feelings and so much grief from what had happened that I didn’t tell anyone what had happened for years.

After getting her degree in Community Theatre Sarah went on to qualify as a drama teacher. Worked for a TIE company, and started a youth theatre. Sarah realised that this specialist form of theatre could be used to explore healthy relationships with young people. And that would help reduce the amount of young people going through similar situations to the one she found herself in as a teen. With that in mind she started her very own theatre company Theatre Inspiring Change, Sarah said “I guess you could say that I found my voice and at TIC Box Productions”. And it’s that voice that has been creating positive change ever since. Being nominated for, and winning awards left right and centre!

In 2019 they won Community Champion at the Best Business Women’s Awards,

TIC were shortlisted for a European Diversity Award, nominated for a National Diversity Award and were nominated for gender diversity award.

In 2020 after a successful national tour of The Bruise You Can’t See to young people TIC were finalists at the National Diversity Awards. Sarah was the winner of Silver Most Inspiring Businesswoman, at Best Business Woman Awards

2022 saw them win the Shining Star Award, Sarah was Silver Winner as Most Inspiring Businesswoman of the Year at the Best Business Women Awards and Theatre Inspiring Change were shortlisted for a European Diversity Award. Phew.

And just as important to Sarah as all the public recognition, is having reached over 88,000 young people and adults, and with their performances. Having made a genuine difference in all these lives, engaging with everyone, no matter their location, financial status, or age, by promoting gender diversity and equality, is reward in itself.

Lastly as always with my inspirations I ask for their pearl of wisdom, and this one resonates with me like a sonic boom. You can use whatever you have been through to help others, in my case with our plays combatting hate and inspiring equality. I am proud to speak from a place of authenticity, and power having come out of the other end and turned my life around”.

To find out more about Theatre Inspiring Change

https://www.ticboxproductions.co.uk

https://www.facebook.com/TICBoxProductions

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Dyslexic Authors

Dyslexia means all sorts of things, so there is no reason why we cannot be authors (yes I know we need more editing, but that's fine, our ideas are amazing!).

These are the symptoms and signs of Dyslexia as described by The British Dyslexia Association

Frequently late - occasionally missing important events altogether - and misjudging how long it takes to drive somewhere - yep that's me, unless I set an alarm on my phone to leave really, really early I will be late. I genuinely do not understand where the time goes, you start putting your shoes on, and the next minute you have lost twenty...

Problems with time management - a poor sense of time - find it difficult to plan time - frequently run out of time doing a task or fail to plan enough time for all the things that need to be done for the task to be completed - see above, also note when I thought I could write eighteen courses, edit the same, polish, record the audio for, design the companion sheet for sixteen of the courses, and get them to the website technology type genius lady to get online and pretty in six weeks. And was late delivering, twice.

Can’t remember numbers - phone numbers, pin numbers, timetables etc - need to write a phone number down immediately to remember it. Again

Poor memory for anything number related like dates and facts - everyone who knows me knows that I say if you don;t see me write it down assume it won't happen.

Trouble understanding graphs or charts - can’t recognise the meaning of symbols - I bought a lovely craft kit, but turns out it has the mother of all charts, and so I open it, look at it, and put it away again. My cross stitch charts I expand to 10x and do them in little sessions marking off stitches as I go.

Difficulty remembering what symbols mean or linking numbers and symbols to directions - see above

Hard to understand even very simple spoken maths equations - I stopped my maths education at long division, Mrs Roper, fourth year juniors.

Get different answers to same Math problem and need to check work over and over again to be confident of getting the right answer. see above.

Gets lost easily and misplaces objects around the house - ask my husband about this one (if you have an hour to spare).

Difficulty working out change or a tip, use fingers to count - cannot see the problem with counting on my fingers

Trouble recognising patterns and sequencing - I think I'm alright at this, others may disagree

Motor functions - trouble learning dance steps or athletic movements or anything that requires you to move your body in a certain sequence - tried to learn ballroom dancing, jive, did GCSE Dance, and  despite practising the two dances I made them both up on the day, I did not pass well.

Struggles to keep scores in games and loses track of whose turn it is - yep

Difficulty remembering names and facial recognition (Prosopagnosia) - if you appear out of context that can hardly be my fault, I have, for some time, campaigned for name badges for all without success.

If the majority of these fit you - congratulations, you are officially part of the most creative section of the population whoop whoop

I did the very involved test on The British Dyslexia Association website, which has given me a headache, and yep I fit the markers...so that's interesting, what about you?

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Dyslexia Awareness Week

For Dyslexia awareness week I wanted to share this piece about Dyslexia and Dyscalculia, to encourage people who have either condition, for their parents, partners and friends who need to know more. Differently-abled can be a fantastic thing!

I am a Dyslexic blogger, author and creativity coach, but this blog is all about Pascal, a retired university lecturer.

“Although I knew about Dyslexia I hadn’t heard of Dyscalculia until I was teaching at a university. Each term students’ work had to be double marked by two tutors, and this was followed by meetings where we discussed the marks we had allocated.  Not only could I could never remember how to work out the percentages of the marks, but then later I couldn't remember if it was agreed that the marks were to go up or down, so I was always having to double check with my colleagues.

The tutor that I double marked with also assessed students for Dyscalculia as part of his work, and eventually he took me to one side, to say that in his opinion he was quite sure I had Dyscalculia. Naturally as soon as I got home I jumped on the computer and did some research, and was astonished to find out that I experienced most of the symptoms! How had I managed to get to sixty five without

Unfortunately, although I wanted to be tested to make sure that I had the condition,  which the University were prepared to pay for, but if the diagnosis was confirmed I would no longer be allowed to teach, as it would hinder my ability to mark work. Although I would be offered an alternative post that did not involve teaching. I decided it was probably better not to have the test and be formally diagnosed.

The being late part of my Dyscalculia has affected my relationships with friends, family and colleagues - it has been hard for people to accept how difficult I found being on time. It has also made it hard in later life to have the confidence to make choices which involve commitments and deadlines as they are a nightmare when you have no idea how long it’s going to take you to do something.

It has been discovered that Dyscalculia is due to the malfunction of one gene, and from an educational point of view is now legally classed as a disability and listed as a learning disorder. But I was brought up in an era where you just had to get on with it regardless of how difficult you found things, and I would never have recognised that I have a learning disorder nor would I have classed myself as disabled and having special educational needs!

So, it has been quite a shock to discover just how much Dyscalculia has affected my life when I’ve stopped to think about it.  I always recognised my difficulties with understanding Maths and remembering numbers but hadn’t realised that is affected things like always being late and not being able to learn tap dancing!"

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Dyslexic Success Stories

For Dyslexia awareness week I really wanted to share some stories of the achievements and wonderfulness of my fellow Dyslexics and those with Dyscalculia.

So if you, or your child, partner or friend has recently received a diagnosis take heart! they have just joined an exclusive tribe of wonderfulness. We are amazing people! and I hope that we can encourage people who have either condition. Differently-abled can be a fantastic thing!

As you know I am a Dyslexic blogger and author, speaker and writing mentor - which is why all my books are formatted to be accessible to those with Dyslexia and literacy issues with a larger than average more regular shaped font, wider spacing between lines,  shorter paragraphs, and bold titles to show where new stories start.

Some of the notable people I have for you are Spike Lee, Noel Gallagher, Lynda La Plante, Carol Grieder, Anita Roddick, Andy Warhol, if you don't know who they are look them up!

But this article is all about Ashley and her son Adam, told by Ashley their story starts in the 1970's...

“When my son first started school nearly fifty years ago he struggled to learn to read. Each year he got further behind his peers. I can’t remember when I first heard the term Dyslexia but by the time my son reached age eight or nine it was clear to me that he definitely had a problem with reading and I decided to find out more.

The British Dyslexia Association sent me some leaflets that convinced that he had Dyslexia. But when I spoke to the head teacher at his school he was completely dismissive saying that ‘I don’t have disabled children in my school’. His father was also dismissive thinking that our son just needed to work harder.

By ten he struggled to read a book even though he had intellectual curiosity and had problems with his short-term memory. His father insisted that he went to the grammar school where he had to learn French and German, unfortunately this led to his becoming clinically depressed as it was impossible for him to learn either.

Finally, at age twelve with his reading age at around eight, his father was persuaded to let him be tested, and it was clear that he had Dyslexia. His father who had also always had issues with spelling - despite being a successful company director - then also decided to be tested, and found that he also had Dyslexia!

There wasn't really any help and support available in mainstream education, but my friend who was a primary teacher helped him with some extra tutoring. I was delighted when my son went on to study building and fulfilled his dream to become a stone mason, it's an unusual, technical, and demanding job, that he adores! he has had the honour of  working on some of the most famous churches and cathedrals in the UK.

I went on a trip to a Cathedral with my friends, and looking up and admiring the stone work at a particular point I was able to say "Adam carved that piece!" seeing things that my son has created that will last for hundreds of years makes me a very proud Mum indeed".

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Poetry Day with Hoops a Dayzee

For Poetry Day my friend the poet, hula hooper, and secret mermaid Hoops a Dayzee has written this exclusively for us – enjoy! 

I don't think there really ever was a particular point,

That I realised I was a poet, 

I have always loved to play with words, 

And never been afraid to show it. 

Maybe I learned from my teachers at school, 

Or my Uncle Dave who is really cool. 

He writes a lot and I love his work, 

Never fails to make me giggle with all his quirk. 

But as long as I can remember i have loved to rhyme, 

Sorry I cannot pinpoint a particular time. 

 

I hate to say it but I don't read that much, 

I like my poems to have a personal touch. 

My inspiration comes from within myself, 

And rarely from a book on a dusty shelf.

 

I think I must be rather self-centred

As some humour and darkness comes when my soul I have entered. 

I love to make people smile and laugh, 

But sometimes my mood gets a little bit dark. 

Current events also inspire us, 

And it doesn't get much darker than this killer virus. 

So the mood of my poetry really depends, 

On the mood I am in and on current events. 

 

I know when a poem is complete, my friend, 

By a feeling I get when it comes to the end. 

Its like putting together pieces of a jigsaw, 

There is an empty space where I know it needs more. 

But when all the words are in the right place, 

I get a warm feeling and a smile on my face. 

 

Sometimes I get words going round in my head, 

Or I'll think about a subject that needs to be read. 

Funny events will occur that can't go unheard,

Things happen to me that are rather absurd, 

So I write down my thoughts and take it from there, 

And some of them I cannot help but share. 

 

Just do it. Put a pen to paper and write with your mind, 

The results will surprise you, I think you will find. 

Think of a subject and take it from there, 

Anything from a spider to what happened at the fair.

You will no doubt write and then scribble bits out, 

But that's what the process is all about. 

The best advice I can give is 'just play around' , 

The words you are looking for are there to be found. 

Throw in a rhyme, a palindrome or a pun. 

Enjoy the process and have some fun. 

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Inspired by…Teresa Dukes

Teresa_Dukes_Home

Today I am sharing why I have been inspired by Teresa Dukes of Dukes Consultancy. Teresa, is a trainer (over 25,000 people to date), an international speaker (USA, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Germany, Switzerland, Abidjan Ivory Coast, Johannesburg, London, Dublin, Barcelona, Bangkok and Thailand…I know right?) and Teresa has successfully coached National Speech Champions. In between all these accomplishments she found time to co-author the #1 bestselling book ‘World Class Speaking in Action’; and her second co-authored book ‘Women on Success’ is out March 2020… And breathe, yes, this woman’s got some energy!

Dukes Consultancy

I have been inspired by you because... you were the first female professional public speaker that I had ever met! and the way you told a story was captivating. Hearing you really got me thinking about the validity of my own stories, and made me realise that I could speak in my natural voice, an insight which has given me so much courage.

How did you get to where you are now: In 1999 I was working as an executive secretary in one of London’s prestigious utility companies, and was trying to find a way to advance my career into management; it proved difficult because of the perception managers had of the secretarial role, and I was held back by my lack of confidence in my ability to speak effectively not only at work but everywhere! This allowed people to control my future, my path, and my dream all because of my lack of courage to stand up for myself.

It was time to change from a shy timid secretary who followed others, to a strong, confident leader who people wanted to hear speak, and who people would listen to when she did. Joining and walking through the door of a speakers’ club for the first time was one of the hardest things I ever did – but it has also been one of the most rewarding.

Fast forward a decade, after amazing personal growth and promotions in my corporate career, it was time for me to take an even bigger step and became the founding Director of Dukes Consultancy – ‘Helping you Be Heard, Understood and Remembered’. I was now my own boss! who would have ever imagined that?

So, what made the difference? How did I go from a shy, timid secretary to running my own company helping others overcome their obstacles in confidence? Working with someone who not only believed in my abilities and potential, but who wanted to help me unleash them and make them real. In my case this just happened to be my boss, he took me under his wing and guided me through the pitfalls of promotion. It took 18 months of coaching and a lot of hard work, my journey took me down many different (sometimes very unexpected, sometimes hugely rewarding) roads; but together we broke down the perception of my previous secretarial persona, built my confidence and self-belief to a new level, and gained the acceptance of my peers. He helped me be heard, understood and remembered, and we are still in touch today!

Having a mentor who had been through a similar experience, and was willing to help me realise my potential was a powerful step in the right direction, and made me passionate about doing them same for the people I work with through my training and coaching.
Piece of Wisdom to share: The first step is the hardest, but as soon as you take it you will never look back. Look at people who have accomplished what you are aiming for. Look for resources that help you reach your goals. Identify a coach who is willing to help you on your journey. Set your goals and act - start making them a reality.

Resolution for 2020: I don’t make resolutions, I set goals! My three for 2020 are to publish a third book entitled: ‘Presenting at your Best in 26 Steps’. To increase the love of storytelling in business presentations; and to spend more time with my grandchildren!

Dukes Consultancy - Helping you be Heard, Understood and Remembered

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Inspired by…Natalie King

natalie king

Today I am inspired by Natalie King, of Natalie King Coaching, why you may ask? Because when meeting Natalie my life changed forever (and no that’s not an Eden exaggeration!). We happened to sit next to each other at a lunch, during which Natalie told me about the public speaking course she was about to run. I knew it was time for me to do the course, although I wouldn’t have gone looking for it, the universe made sure the information came to me. Natalie’s support and humour have helped me, and the other five women on the course to find and enjoy our own voices. I loved the course so much that now I sponsor it!

Public Speaking with Confidence

So Natalie, how did you get to where you are now? Once upon a time, there was a business woman who struggled to get the right words out, when she had to go to networking events or give presentations about her business; feeling that she lacked the right words made her feel anxious and powerless. One day she decided she was ready to make some changes, and to step out of her lonely and negative comfort zone, so she booked herself onto a public speaking with confidence course.

During the course she became more confident, because the course her voice grew stronger, and her comfort zone expanded. Until finally she was able to talk to fellow business people at networking events and was super confident when she had to give presentations which enabled her to grow her business.

It was a slow process that took years, taking one speech, and one day at a time. But it couldn’t happen until I made the decision to change.

Piece of Wisdom to share: Don’t look at the big picture, or your end goal as that can be very scary. Know what your big goal is, then file it away in your mind, and take small steps in that. Never give up even if you feel like you are going backwards, that is all part of the process. Get comfortable being uncomfortable! your comfort zone is only a suggestion - it can expand!

Resolution for 2020: I am going to build on the foundation that I created in 2019, to keep growing as a person and building my business. To keep learning, and trying new things.

Find out more about Natalie King

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Eden Gruger Around The World

I wanted to say a massive thank you to all my lovely followers, everyone who takes the time to follow my blog, on Facebook, and Twitter, and of course, read my books!  You guys have been fantastic! and have helped me to reach readers in 72 different countries.

The feeling I have this morning seeing where my lovely readers have come from is wonderful. And if you are one of my lovely readers - Thank you again, your support means that I can keep doing what I love.

Are you on my reading list?

United Kingdom, United States, Ireland, India, China, Australia, Canada, Philippines, France, Nigeria, Mexico, Hong Kong SAR China, Austria, Netherlands, Trinidad & Tobago, Cape Verde, Costa Rica, Pakistan, European Union, Spain, Gambia, Portugal, Switzerland, New Zealand, Saudi Arabia, Sweden, South Africa, Finland, Japan, Bangladesh, Azerbaijan, Germany, Brazil, Greece, Chile, Israel, Hungary, Cambodia, Ghana, Guadeloupe, Russia, Slovenia, Argentina, Taiwan, Guernsey, Laos, Mauritius, Tunisia, French Polynesia, Armenia, Mongolia, Denmark, St Lucia, Moldova, Serbia, Afghanistan, Peru, Norway, Kazakhstan, UAE, El Salvador, Uruguay, Singapore, Northern Mariana Islands, Kenya, Cayman Islands, Belgium, Romania, Belarus, Slovakia.

Check out my books!

Learn To Accept A Compliment

This popped into my inbox today, and proved tome how far I have come on my personal journey, I was definitely a yes but-er, but not no more!

"You need to stop rejecting compliments, and learn to graciously receive and accept them. These words of wisdom are shared with permission from their writer, the ever lovely Natalie King, qualified Life, Confidence Happiness Coach, Goal Setting and Public Speaking Mentor, a Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM), and slave to 3 dogs.

"Yes, But!" Is this something you say? Or like me is this something you hear a lot when you give a compliment, the person responds with Yes, But!

Lately, I have come across this both in my coaching with clients as well as within my toastmaster's club. When a compliment is passed on and the person says Yes, But! with an excuse or their own reason why they cannot accept the compliment, it makes me so mad, as they are belittling themselves as well as the person giving the compliment. Sometimes I just want to boink them on the head!!!

Arguing the compliment does not prove a point. All it does is take away the joy of the compliment. I know that accepting a compliment is hard and that it can feel embarrassing to receive. Especially if we are low in confidence or self-esteem.

Have you thought that when you get a compliment to just say thank you? Maybe you feel shy, or undeserving of the compliment and the urge to say Yes, But! is there, just stop, pause and say thank you. It will mean so much to the person giving the compliment. Plus by you just saying thank you, and thinking about what was said, you can start to believe the compliment.

Now if you are the person giving the compliment and you get a Yes, But! Interrupt the person and remind them that you are genuine and you meant what you said, and ask them to accept the compliment in the spirit it was given. Maybe they are low in confidence and they just need a little reminder that they are a great person.

Enjoy all the compliments that you are given, as they are well deserved".

Speak to Natalie King

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Flourishing And Wellness

Another day another inspirational woman crosses my path, am I extra lucky? Maybe, maybe not, may I just got over being intimidated by strong women. Running towards them so I can listen to their wisdom instead. I was really fortunate to hear a presentation given by Marie of Flourish Fit and Well recently about blue zones (the areas in the world where people achieve the most longevity, and how they might be achieving this). Never having heard about this before my mind was spinning with the ideas that Marie shared, do you know about your healthspan – the years you will have your health, versus lifespan – how long you are likely to live? It seemed to create a more accurate picture of how you can expect your wellbeing to pan out, by showing how your current lifestyle will contribute to how long you will have to live with ill health or manage health conditions in later life.

This is something I will be looking into and working on a lot more over the next few months, and when I do work out my HS v LS figures don’t worry, I will be sharing them, no matter how scary they might be…One of the things that Marie was quick to point out, is that all changes for the better are worthwhile, and her hand out ‘a week of health habits’ has got my ball well and truly rolling. 7 hours of sleep I can do, I have more issues waking up than I do dropping off, having the dubious accolade in my family of being ‘most likely to sleep through a war’. A minute of movement is easy to achieve with two dogs, so I am ok on that one, and my allotment means my half a plate of plants is an easy one, but healthy fats and perfect proteins I am not even sure what they are. If two minutes of mindfulness means being quiet and being rather than doing, then nope; and the only water I drink first thing in the morning is that which dilutes my coffee. Fortunately, when your bad habits are as bad as mine then the only way is up!

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