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inspirational people

Inspired by… Lesley Krier

This month’s inspirational person goes by many names…Lesley, L M Krier, L M Kay, Carl Granger and Tottie Limejuice, These days most people call her Tottie or Tots. And just why is she so inspirational? Well, she went from writing an episode of a tv western at sixteen, to being an author of thirty books across crime, travel memoir and children’s books and still found time to move country, care for her mum and rescue several dogs.

“Words always came very easily to me and I was always writing something, but not numbers - at all. I now realise I'm dyscalculic, but that was not recognised back then, instead I was told I was stupid or lazy, despite being neither.

As my late father was a local newspaper editor, our house was always full of books, many of which he had been given to review for various papers. So, I had my nose in a book most of the time, and when English author Alan Garner wrote The Weirdstone of Brisingamen, my father gave me the review copy and asked for my opinion.

At sixteen I sold a storyline for an episode of a popular 1960’s TV western. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you the series as I signed an all rights contract, but I am allowed to say that it was a prime-time series on the BBC - not Bonanza! so that will narrow it down. I was paid the princely sum of $200 (the equivalent of $2100 now).

And while I would hate to tempt fate, I've always been able to sit down and the keyboard and bash out whatever was necessary. Just as well really, as I've been a both a journalist and a freelance copywriter, both professions that have crazy deadlines”.

Something that really resonated with me as a great believer in the power of dreams was Tots story of how Ted Darling came to be. “This is going to sound incredibly cheesy, but I promise it's true! Most of the characters for my Ted Darling Crime Series came to me in a dream one Christmas some years ago. It was one of the most vivid dreams I can remember having. There was this detective, called Ted Darling, and he was telling me all about himself, his partner, his cats and his current case. There was so much detail! Amazingly I could still remember every detail when I woke up so having fed my dogs and put them out in the garden to play, sat at my computer and wrote down everything I could remember.

The first chapter went to a very blunt friend (she’s from Yorkshire), and I knew I would get honest feedback. She said simply 'I want more', which is about as high praise as she does. So, I kept on going and going there are now twenty-two books in the series”.

When I asked Tots about a major change in her life, she told me about her move to France in 2007. Which became the basis of her six volume travel memoir series, Sell the Pig, by Tottie Limejuice. (The origin of that name is explained in the books). Despite the funny books the move came about from a serious situation, “when our mother developed vascular dementia my brother and I were not happy with the care available to her. Neither with carers going into her house (disastrous!) or later with residential care. We both lived too far away to monitor things, luckily at the time I was working as a freelance copywriter/copy editor, which I could do anywhere with an internet connection, so we decided to move to France together and bring mother with us. I did need help getting her up and putting her to bed (due to some horse-related injuries I have collected), but other than that I could take care of her, so I did. And she had four very good years, enjoying the sun and the lifestyle, before she died”.

I love my inspirational people to share a pearl of wisdom and Tots one is something I completely agree with “You can do it... whatever it is, you probably can if you believe in yourself. Okay, I will never 'get' numbers now, but if someone had helped me, and taught me to believe I could do it when I was younger, I could probably have been better at it. And get a brutally honest friend to keep you grounded in reality. To say 'that might be a bit of a stretch, but this? This you could do, so go for it!”

“The funniest about my author career is always people's perceptions of what a crime writer should look like and their reactions when they meet me in the flesh for the first time. I make no secret of my age - I'm seventy-two - but fit as lop (which means very fit!). I do a lot of hill-walking with my dog, always clocking up more than 10k steps a day. I'm always in trousers, usually with walking boots, so the silver hair is the only thing 'elderly' about me. And I still get people who assume I must be a man because I write crime!”

“My inspiration is Alan Garner because he was always so polite to me, a star-struck young fan. He once wrote me a letter to let me know of a programme on the radio in which he was taking part. He writes in the most beautiful calligraphy, so that's a much-treasured possession”. Whilst acknowledging that her father was the local newspaper editor and Alan often had good press from him, Tots said “he always remembered my name whenever he saw me, and that impressed me. So, for that reason, as far as possible, I do always try hard to reply personally to anyone who contacts me”.

Finally, we spoke about plans for the future, Tots shared that workwise The Dog with the Golden Eyes will shortly be coming out in parallel English/French text, for learners of either language, which is exciting. Personally, she is starting to get itchy feet! As she said she’s “mostly had rescue dogs, so going away can be problematic, as they need a live-in dog-sitter with special experience, and that costs. I have decided that Rosie my current rescue will be my last. And in my future dogless days I will go off travelling. France has excellent trains, as does much of Europe, I think it would be great fun to wake up in the morning and think 'I fancy a trip to Berlin today' and just be able to do it. Especially if that’s on sleeper trains, which I love”.

Happy Travels Tots!

 

If you want to see Tots library of books and find ways to follow her, find out more are below;

Crime Fiction: Ted Darling Crime Series - L M Krier

The first time ever

Babys got blue eyes

Two little boys

When I am old and grey

Shut up and drive

Only the lonely

Wild thing

Walk on by

Preacher man

Cry for the bad man

Every game you play

Where the girls are

Down down down

The cuckoo is a pretty bird

Dirty old town

The end of the line

Its oh so quiet

A woman’s heart

No way to say goodbye

Everybody hearts sometimes

Sweet little lies: somebody’s lying. Who? And why?

 

Looking for Lulu - Carl Granger

 

Travel Memoirs: Sell the Pig - Tottie Limejuice (6 books)

Sell the pig

Is that Billange lump?

Mother, was it worth it?

Biff the useless mention

Angling Bumateurs

Trot on

 

Totties Travel Series

Hobbit House In Italy

Two Jills and a Tots

Pride comes before a bedbug

 

Children’s

The Dog with the Golden Eyes - L M Kay

 

In Collaboration with Jill Pennington under the name Jilli Lime-Smith

Take three birds

No girls on the train

 

Ways to get in touch with Tots

 

https://www.teddarlingcrimeseries.uk/

We love Ted Darling Facebook group

Blue Sky Tottie Lime Juice

Twitter/X is @tottielimejuice

Youtube Lesley Tither

Instagram lesleytither

 

 

 

inspirational people / lesley krier / tottie limejuice

Inspired by…Nari Sandhu

This afternoon I had the absolute privilege to meet with Nari Sandhu to talk about why she for me an inspirational woman. Although she admitted that when I asked her she thought “why does Eden want to talk to me?” I think by the end of the page you will understand, and feel the same as I do.

Nari definitely seems like a go with the flow kind of person, one who sees challenges and just works through them, not a worrier by any stretch of the imagination. Although her upbringing was fairly strict, with the expectations of what she would do (and when) were mapped out, she didn’t really mind too much, and followed the expectations her mother had for her.

When a match was found for her she believed it would be a well thought out choice, and at twenty one she married Amrik, and moved in with his family. Nari smiled when I asked her how that had worked out, thirty four years married so we can assume it’s been a good choice.

It took some adjustment living with her new husband’s family while he worked in London, but as she said that’s how things were. Nari admits she was very naive about babies when she had their son Ajvir, and got told off by a nurse at one point for saying “it keeps crying”. A sentiment I think most mothers will have shared at one point.

Something more steely developed in Nari when her children were born, she didn’t want to set out their life for them based on her expectations, or that of the older generations. Instead wanting them to have the freedom to explore what their hearts led them to. And as it happened this wish would become a guiding principle in Nari’s future in a way that no-one could have expected.

This desire for freedom and choice showed again when Ajvir was just two years old, after trying to brush his top knot one last time Nari decided enough was enough, and had his hair cut. Not so dramatic you might think, but for a Sikh this was quite a thing to have done, and caused painful ripples with his grandparents. But Nari was adamant if Ajvir chose to regrow his hair then that would be fine, but it would have to be his choice.

Time moved on, and their beautiful daughter Sabinder arrived, Nari describes her life as “perfect really”, with a loving family, good husband, lovely home and two amazing children.

Ajvir took after Nari, not worrying about things, just seeing the opportunities in life, he loved to try new things, he tried basketball and karate, and several other things before visitor from the Air Cadets did a talk at his school.

Children had to be thirteen to join, and although he had a couple of months to go before his thirteenth birthday Ajvir spoke to the visitor and seeing something in him, she told him that he could come along even though he wasn’t quite old enough.

Rather than being another passing phase the Air Cadets became a passion, he wanted to be a fast jet pilot (think Top Gun). With him going to twice a week after school, and often at weekends too. When it became clear how serious he was, and finding it hard to get him to the group around work and home, Nari wanted to support him in every way that she could, and decided to leave work to concentrate on the family again.

With his family’s support Ajvir rose through the ranks, in 2009 becoming the Lord Lieutenants Cadet for London, where he took part of Trooping the colour, and met The Queen. Being  the boy he was Ajvir managed to do this without causing issues with his school work, and while completing the Gold Duke of Edinburgh award, and meeting the Duke of Edinburgh.

Once he had set his mind to a goal Ajvir worked hard to achieve it, but it wasn’t enough to just succeed, like his mother he wanted to help others around him to achieve their dreams too. A skill which led to his squadron winning the prestigious Lees Trophy, a prestigious award that celebrates outstanding performance and contributions within the RAF Air Cadets.

Something that Nari and her husband did insist on, was that Ajvir should go to university, they wanted him to have a fallback option just in case he wasn’t able to have the career he dreamt of in the air force. So, off he went to Durham university to study geology, and stayed an extra year to do a Masters, eventually leaving with a First class honours degree.

Finally the time had come for Ajvir to pursue his childhood dream of being a fast jet fighter,  according to the Ministry of Defence only ten pilots were chosen to become Fast Jet trained in 2015/16, and you won’t be surprised to hear that Ajvir was one of that ten.

publishing.service.gov.uk figures

More dream experiences followed including flying with the Red Arrows and MiGs with the Slovakian Airforce.

The understandable pride and joy of her son’s achievements light up Nari’s face as we are talking, but then she begins to talk about the next period of her life, which started with “the day my life went dark”.

On 30th April 2016 whilst flying with a friend and colleague from the elite Linton-on-Ouse base Ajvir tragically lost his life.

Although I have tried I haven’t been able to find words adequate enough to convey the magnitude of Nari and her family’s loss.

We agreed that the first year of bereavement goes in a flash, by the time arrangements have been made, a funeral has been held, and you have tried to find a way to breathe without the person.

As the anniversary came around Nari realised that she didn’t want to do the traditional thing of spending the anniversary of Ajvir’s death in prayer. Instead she wanted to do something, and decided to carry on his legacy with the The Ajvir Singh Sandhu Leadership Foundation. And with the same tenacity they shared with their son, Nari and Amrik launched the charity on his anniversary.

During our conversation Nari shares that after a few years she realised there was no answer to the endless Why? Nothing that could help make sense of the death of incredible child. The pain is a circle of ebbs and flows, sometimes less difficult, other times much worse.  While the charity is an incredible thing to have created, she would as anyone could understand swap it all to have her son with her.

What is it about The Ajvir Singh Sandhu Leadership Foundation that touches my heart? Beyond the story of pain that led to it’s creation, it’s the ethos that runs from how Nari brought her own children up to what they offer to the children the charity supports. Something that many children do not find in life, someone to believe in their dreams.

Through funding grants to providing mentorship, young people are encouraged to pursue their dreams, whether that be sporting or otherwise.  And as Nari said ‘whether those dreams end up coming true or not, children just need someone to believe in them’.

And that is why Nari Sandhu is an inspirational person to me, a loving supportive mother, someone who has carried on despite the weight of unbearable pain, to create something that gives other children the chance to shine, just as Ajvir shone.

If you know a young person who would benefit from The Ajvir Singh Sandhu Leadership Foundation or you have a youth group or school who would like to know more about supporting the charity or getting their support please get in touch with Nari and Amrik at the Ajvir Singh Sandhu Leadership Foundation

Find out more about how the charity supports young people

inspirational people / supporting young people / UK charity

Inspired By…Sukh Pabial

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Inspired By…Sukh

Today I am sharing why I have been inspired by Sukh, someone who embodies many of the qualities that I admire both in his business and personally, including gentleness. I don’t think anyone would see me like that! and anyone who has been in the business world for any length of time would agree that gentleness is something that is in very short supply in our often ruthless world. I think that’s why when we met ‘at’ an online business meeting his energy stood out for me. Sukh describes himself as friendly, kind and compassionate, and that’s definitely what I felt.

Even though Sukh was at the meeting talking about his co-working space, which I wasn’t looking for at the time. Even though I didn’t think it would be relevant to me, I couldn’t stop listening to what he said. And remembered him long after the session was over.

As soon as we could, we met (online of course!), and Sukh told me what was behind the business. Although he had always been interested in coworking spaces, what he really saw was the potential to create a community. He said “As a (non-practising) Sikh, community is very important to me. It’s a core part of how I think and operate. We are very community focused in our practise, and I try to honour the practises as best I can. As well as personally having a large extended family and my own three children. Taking that into what I do in business was an easy choice”.

Now, as someone who was housebound for many years due to my health condition, and then chose to work in a solitary profession, this really appealed to me. Whether we like it or not we are social animals, and humans do need each other for their very survival  both physically and emotionally.

After coming from a dedicated London life to lovely leafy Epping over a decade ago, Sukh saw that although it was a great place to live, people still needed more opportunities for connection. And at that time there were no co-working spaces in the town… hence he opened his own. This was obviously such a good idea that other co-working spaces popped up soon after. However, there is only one Sukh, and only one TEC. This is not just a place to work away from distractions at home, he has created a place to meet people from a range of other industries. Current visitors include marketing professionals, coaches, a crochet designer, technology professionals, a disability charity and a writer’s mentor. There are also various evening events including games nights, speaking nights, and there has even been a very well attended Christmas craft market. They pay attention to being inclusive and welcoming to all groups (and dogs!) and this is reflected in the activities they offer.

As with all things there are other very important ingredients, and in this case that’s the hosts. Sukh admits that he couldn’t run TEC without Sarah and Jenna (see it’s official ladies). Knowing that they would have to be genuinely warm and welcoming, was an essential part in the community manager role. The relationships that Sarah and Jenna form with visitors and co-workers help them know this isn’t just somewhere to work from, it’s a place we you are genuinely welcomed, and wanted.

I had first hand experience of this one day when I had an intense panic attack, which wasn’t helped by worrying about what other people might be thinking. As horrible as it was, and it was truly awful at the time, the kindness of the hosts not only reassured me on the day. But have made me worry much less about it happening again in the future. As no-one will make a fuss or think negatively about my condition. Acceptance is priceless for me.

Obviously, I asked Sukh for a pearl of wisdom to help me to be more Sukh, and this is it “I learned to get very ok with realising I don’t have to have the answers to everything. Nor do I have to pretend to, it’s really easy to feel that. But there’s just too many things happening in the world to be aware of. So, I choose to pay attention to the things I can influence, and I hope that keeps me on the right side of right”. Wise words I am sure you’ll agree.

One of the things that Sukh has learnt from starting The Epping Connection is that he is more of a dog person that he thought! and has so much fun finding out about visiting doggies personalities that there will often be pictures of him on Instagram playing with dogs rather than getting on with his work!

And what does the future hold? A well deserved ski holiday with the children, after not being able to join them for the last five years is definitely on the agenda. I am sure they will be delighted to have you join them for a family snowball fight.

Sukh has also just published The Resilience Handbook See The Resilience Handbook

To speak to Sukh, Sarah or Jenna about a place to work, hold meetings or anything else

https://www.theeppingconnection.co.uk

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/theeppingconnection

If you would like support and motivation to fulfil your writing dreams click here

If you would like to hear more Eden news then why not become one of my Very Important Reader Gang and get a free copy of Funny Bird here

inspirational people / the epping connection / the resilience handbook

I’m inspired by

I read a lot, but there are two writers that I have to pay homage to, for teaching me one of the most valuable lessons in being a writer. Find  your own voice.

This is exactly what David Sedaris and Barbara Comys did for me, and this is all about how they inspired me with their style, wit, and candour; and you never know, they might do the same for you.

Regarding Style, both of my inspirations write in the way that someone might really speak. Not in tangles or high falutin language; which has it’s place of course, they both write in the every-day accessible language that anyone might use.

But, they use those familiar words in such a way that they sing, and carry you along. Yes, I’m that enthusiastic.

You only have to listen to David Sedaris read a story once to forever hear him reading his stories to you, and that’s serious skill. You know you are getting the authentic David. It’s him through and through, he makes it easy to imagine what it would be like hang out with him, to listen to him discussing a television programme, or what we need on our shopping list, or whose turn it is to do the housework.

And that’s something I aspired to from the first moment I read his work, that my voice will become my signature style.

The first Barbara Comys book I read was ‘Sisters by a river’, how I love that book.  It wasn’t written in a classic style, instead being more of a collection of anecdotes, which is exactly how my own brain tends to think. I totally bought into book, and it was only much, much later I found out it it wasn't a memoir, that it was in fact a novel with autobiographical undertones.

So, if you have ever seen me say it was a autobiography there you go, I was sort of wrong, but that’s the power of the book. Barbara writes the extremely dark parts of the story with such a light touch that you can chose not to even see the horrors if you don't want to.  If you have never read her work, get yourself a copy of any of her works, believe me you won’t regret it.     

Regarding Wit, you only have to see David Sedaris book titles ‘Dress your family in corduroy and denim’, ‘Let’s explore diabetes with owls’, ‘me talk pretty one day’, ‘Squirrel seeks chipmunk’.  To name just a few, to know that you are in for a comedic treat. 

What I particularly like is that the title doesn’t necessarily tell you everything, or in some cases anything at all, about what the book is actually about, I love that.  And yes, that did inspire me when naming my first book Down With Frogs.

Once you get into David's books you have such comments as “I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally.” David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day.  And “Boys who spent their weekends making banana nut muffins did not, as a rule, excel in the art of hand-to-hand combat.” David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim. 

See simple but highly intelligent and effective.

Barbara can be a bit more edgy with her humour, but it’s female, and it works ‘I had a kind of idea if you controlled your mind and said “I won’t have any babies” very hard, they most likely wouldn’t come. I thought that was what was meant by birth-control’ Barbara Comys, Our Spoons Came From Woolworths.

With regard to candour, now this can be a tricky quality to write with. You may want to hold something of yourself back, and that’s fine. But not only do people respond to someone putting it all out there, if you write without putting your heart into it, it shows; and it just doesn’t work. 

That kind of bouncing along the surface might appeal to some readers, but something about it won’t ‘feel’ right, especially if you write about a subject you haven’t lived without really researching it.

This isn’t about adding detail for the sake of it. When I say candour, I am talking about truthfulness, sincerity and integrity.  And both David and Barbara have this is bucket loads, both write about their own families to a degree. David's family really cannot have any secrets left, having been written about in all their wonderful, monstrous and endearing beauty. And if you want to know what it’s like going for a colonoscopy read Calypso.

Barbara on the other hand used her family and husband's as inspiration, using the difficult and traumatic from her life to give her characters life, and an emotional connection to the reader.

The message I hope you to takeaway from this, is that other authors are not your competition, your measuring stick, or a reason not to write. They can be your inspiration, and your teachers.  All good writers read, without exception, so renew your library ticket, visit your local bookshop, or get online and fill up your ereader. Get yourself something to read, and read widely from your genre. 

Let me know what you have been reading and if you have been inspired.

If you would like to hear more from me, and get a free copy of Funny Bird, then become one of my Very Important Reader Gang here

barbara comys / david sedaris / inspirational people